Summer is just around the corner and, naturally, this is a season in which we show more of ourselves to the outside world again. Not only are we showing more skin (if the temperature allows ;-)), but we also shed those mental wintery layers and show who we are again. Ready to shine!
Yet, it is not easy for everyone to be proud about who they are and what they can do. I often hear from my clients: ‘I find it difficult to position myself as a coach, because I know that I have the knowledge to help people, but it sounds so pretentious’; ‘ My customers are always very satisfied with the solutions that I offer and yet I find it very difficult to make a sales call’ or ‘Those others on Instagram seem so much more successful!’ And my response? Yes, they seem to be. But that’s not always the reality. We must realize that we only see the ‘polished front’ of people and their lives, it’s not fair to compare with that, and who knows they may be less successful than they appear.
Thinking that you are not good enough is called imposter syndrome, in which you rationally know that you have qualities, but emotionally do not fully believe them. As a result, you think with every conversation or new idea that you are missing out and everyone finds out that you cannot do anything at all. This uncertainty prevents many of my coachees from getting the most out of themselves. And that’s a huge shame!
I myself do not suffer from the imposter syndrome, I know where my strengths lie, and what I can do, and I dare to rely on it. But what if you don’t? These tips will help you show the real you:
Recognize when it hits you
If you suffer from imposter syndrome, there is often a pattern in the situation in which it affects you: during job interviews, live sessions on Instagram (do you compare yourself to others?) Or conversations with new customers. Notice that and start practicing. The more often you do something (and it goes well), the smaller your imposter syndrome becomes.
Accept the feeling and take ownership of it
When you recognize those negative voices, accept the feeling and take ownership of it. Write it off, do a breathing exercise, look at it from a distance, give yourself the advice you would give to another. This way you make it less personal, and you ensure that it has less of a hold on you.
Do it anyway and forget about the label
When you work from your own strength, it often goes without saying. You are Shenin, Lisette or Melissa and you rock your business. But if you suddenly announce yourself as “Coach” Shenin, “Trainer” Lisette or “Creative Director” Melissa, you create expectations with that label and this kicks in imposter syndrome. If you know in yourself that you are “a good coach, trainer or creative director” and you don’t put yourself on a pedestal, then you can’t fall off. Forget the labels, just be you. That’s enough. Period.
Could you use some help with this? I got you! Reply for more info.